Friday, June 19, 2009

Bathroom Reading

by Susan

I love bathroom reading. In my family, whoever got to the bathroom first got out of the washing up by dint of staying there long enough for the chore to be finished. We only had the one bathroom, so there was no loitering over dinner, just a mad stampede by the whole family. Both my sister and I later excelled on the athletics field thanks to this early training. The bathroom was the one place you could read undisturbed. By the time I got to boarding school I was a confirmed addict of books in the bathroom. There we suffered that shiny toilet paper, excellent for tracing maps of Europe for geography homework, but painful for everything else. It had “Newcol. Now wash your hands please” printed on every single sheet, and I read every single sheet. I was there for seven years - you do the math! I had a friend in England who piled her paperbacks all the way round the room several feet deep. You could always find something fascinating there when the dinner table conversation palled.

So I read whatever is available when in the “littlest room”. Was anyone else traumatized by the Amy Vanderbilt Success Program for Women that is in the bathroom at Twist, or was it just me? Being anxious to fit into my new environment, I want to do the right thing and I’m very worried by the list of 22 questions. Can any of you help? I mean, what style of winter gloves are considered in poor taste? Have I been wearing them for years and never knew? I know I’ve already failed # 11: “Stockings are always mandatory in town – except when?” I can’t remember the last time I wore stockings! And why should I think twice about buying a coat with a blue lining? I think it’s already too late to learn how to minimize midriff bulge, heavy arms, and other figure problems. The Program claims to teach so much; wardrobe planning and dieting….arrange flowers…..the right way to succeed. Does anyone have a copy of the Success Program? I think I need to learn all this.

The only thing I don’t need is to learn how to meet new people and make new friends. That’s easy: just hang out at Twist!

Hope you have a fun weekend, I look forward to hearing all about it.

No comments: